


1 New Message

by Wishflare



Series: Ducktales Chats! [1]
Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Caring Scrooge McDuck, Chatting & Messaging, Himbo Launchpad McQuack, Minor Drake Mallard/Launchpad McQuack, Other, Parent Scrooge McDuck, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishflare/pseuds/Wishflare
Summary: groupchat fic because why not
Series: Ducktales Chats! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038606
Comments: 49
Kudos: 70





	1. talking

**Author's Note:**

> if you're reading this then you're pretty cool and hip
> 
> heres a list of usernames
> 
> JWHuey - Huey  
> DewIt - Dewey  
> louie - Louie  
> Pink - Webby  
> feather_weights - Lena  
> ViGuy - Violet  
> McDuck - Scrooge  
> DonDad - Donald  
> moonmom - Della  
> pennywane - Penumbra  
> CrashCourse - Launchpad

7:36 PM

-louie has created a groupchat 

louie - yo look i made a groupchat

DewIt - oooo

JWHuey - Good idea, now we can talk to eachother on adventures!

louie - scronk that, im gonna use this to annoy everyone

DewIt - what does scronk mean

louie - whatever i want it to mean

DewIt - ok then

Pink - ooooooooo groupchat

DewIt - im gonna add everyone hold on

-McDuck has joined

-CrashCourse has joined

-feather_weight has joined

-DonDad has joined 

-ViGuy has joined

-moonmom has joined

-pennywane has joined

louie - mom did you really do that

DewIt - PENNY WANE IEJEJDNDNXN

DonDad - you really are your mothers son-

pennywane - della told md it wokud be "funny:  
pennywane - ots sohard to type with 3 fingers

moonmom - brb

McDuck - what is this

DewIt - the future

louie - THE FUTURE IS NOW OLD MAN

feather_weight - HHSSHSBSHHSDHU

DonDad - no stop you're gonna confuse him

moonmom - hey guys im back, i taught penny how to use text to speech 

pennywane - Yes this is a lot easier

\---

4:32 AM

CrashCourse - hey guys what did i miss?


	2. sleeping at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> launchpad has a sleep schedule worse than a procrastinating highschooler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man wont stop cant stop
> 
> also im sorry for the wack formatting, it doesnt show up when i edit so i cant fix it sorry
> 
> hehe because the band sleeping at last hehe  
> im so funny

12:02 PM

louie: launchpad what the heck

CrashCourse: whst?

louie: do you even have a sleep schedule???

CrashCourse: awhat

louie: WH

moonmom: ohhh thats why i saw launchpad chugging straight espresso while he was driving me and webby to the movies

DewIt: awww mother daughter bonding

moonmom: yeah! we're watching Princess Chainsaw, its about a girl who's dad is a chainsaw weilding maniac and then she becomes a chainsaw wielding maniac

Pink: I LOVE HER DRESS SO MUCH LIKE HOW DOES IT NOT HAVE ANY BLOOD ON IT 

louie: so we're just gonna ignore the fact that launchpad literally stays up until 3am out with his buddy and then gets up at 4am to drive all the way to duckburg every day??? moonmom: honey dont question what launchpad does louie: ok moonmom: hey i think the movies almost over can you come get us CrashCourse: on iy louie: yeah im coming with you so you dont fall asleep at the wheel \--- 12:27 PM McDuck: are you alright? louie: lol no McDuck: what happened?? louie: typical launchpad stuff moonmom: a crash CrashCourse: yeo tupical lauj*jjjjjjjjjj louie: yeah can you get donald to pick us up or something McDuck: yeah \--- 1:03 PM DonDad: jfc launchpad is a fucking idiot McDuck: donald the kids use this DonDad: shit sorry louie: if i start swearing its your fault DonDad: louie no McDuck: are you almost at the mansion?

DonDad: we had to get the limo towed and launchpad keeps saying he can drive so no

McDuck: tell him he has the day off  
McDuck: no the week off  
McDuck: with normal pay

DonDad: he just said "no"

louie: damn guess he cant have the week off

DonDad: dont swear

louie: sorry

McDuck: i wont take no for an answer

louie: launchpad and uncle donald are having an argument now  
louie: oh shit donald is gonna go apeshit

McDuck: louie

louie: sorry  
louie: launchpad is getting yelled at by donald and mom is in a store with webby getting us snacks  
McDuck: stop him louie: crap launchpad is crying now i wasnt fast enough louie: HOLY SHIT moonmom: WHAT HAPPENED?? McDuck: WHAT louie: DONALD JUST FUCKING LIFTED LAUNCHPAD UP NO PROBLEM AND THEN PUT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE CAR I louie: LAUNCHPAD WEIGHTS LIKE 500 POUNDS WHAT Pink: actually he weighs 503 pounds louie: OK

DonDad: louie get over here and into the fucking car

louie: ok ok geez

\---

1:32

moonmom: well that was absolute chaos  
moonmom: atleast i got a cute picture -Della sends a photo of Launchpad and Louie sitting in a car, both asleep. Louie is on launchpad's lap with his hood up and launchpad looks disheveled asf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DELLA IS WEBBY'S ADOPTED MOM AND YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE 
> 
> LAUNCHPAD IS A DUCK SIBLING AND YOU CANT SAY HE'S NOT
> 
> also i deserve to be put down for writing this smh


	3. lets get- hey dont kill anyone please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello drakepad community

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dwfan91 -drake  
> goswad -gosalyn

5:06

DewIt: i read up in the chat  
DewIt: guess we're killing uncle donald

louie: i think scrooge is already on it  
louie: LMAO "YOU'RE GROUNDED GO TO YOUR ROOM"

louie: "IM AN ADULT"  
louie: "IM AN ELDER! LISTEN YOU YOUR ELDERS!"

dwfan91: please dont kill anyone

louie: who are you

DewIt: oh hi drake!

dwfan91: oh hi

goswad: can i help kill donald

dwfan91: no

goswad: i wasn't asking you

DewIt: lets go kill my uncle!

louie: why does nobody ever answer my questions

DewIt: he's one of launchpad's friends

louie: rad

louie: oh yeah isnt dw that hero guy launchpad and you were with?

DewIt: yeah 

dwfan91: .

louie: you're darkwing arent you

dwfan91: OH COME ON

DewIt: I DIDNT DEW IT THIS TIME

dwfan91: SHUBISGBUT

louie: uh oh the nerd is mad

JWHuey: Louie what even is your definition of nerd

louie: whatever i want it to be

JWHuey: Thats your response to literally everything.

louie: well thats because thats what i want it to be

\---

-7:49PM

dwfan91: im at the mansion to pick up launchpad can someone let me in  
dwfan91: your housekeeper keeps telling me to "go home" because it "isnt halloween"

DewIt: why are you wearing your dw stuff

dwfan91: because i was about to go out before i realized what time it was

louie: rip, well im on the couch so like dewey can let you in

DewIt: louie im literally right next to you  
DewIt: launchpad is literally laying ON TOP OF ME get huey to do it

JWHuey: Fine, hold on

dwfan91: thanks

\---

8:59PM

DonDad: can someone tell launchpad im sorry  
DonDad: i keep private messaging him but he isnt responding

goswad: thats because he's sleeping dummy  
goswad: and on behalf of him i dont accept your apology

dwfan91: now gos, thats no way to talk to donald  
dwfan91: but if you do something like that again you should watch out for darkwing duck

DonDad: threats, lovely

CrashCourse: guys dont  
CrashCourse its not his fault im difficult  
CrashCourse: i accept your apology <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> launchpad likes to sleep on people, he's like a big dog and thinks he's smaller than he actually is


	4. rad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip jim starling lmao

2:23 PM

DewIt: @dwfan91  
DewIt: so um i found something 

dwfan91: what is it?

DewIt: I dont think you'll like this uhh  
DewIt: this video 

(Dewey sends a video by a channel called "BoorswanProductions" The video is titled "Darkness of the self" and the thumbnail is Drake in a darkwing duck costume, jim starling across from him )

dwfan91: is this what i think it is???

DewIt: yeah  
DewIt: turns out not all of the video was me dancing

louie: woah whats that  
louie: oh wait nvm ive seen that video, its been floating all around the internet since that nerd movie was cancelled 

dwfan91: what??? how did i not see this??

louie: idk  
louie: but its been memed all over the internet and people are making clone theories lmao

DewIt: yeah if you check in the comments theres alotta people making theories and commenting on how good the acting is  
DewIt: i dont think any of them know its not acting

dwfan91: i dont think boorswan knows either

DewIt: he even credited launchpad and you

dwfan91: i  
dwfan91: can you ask your great uncle if he has any of boorswan's contact information? 

DewIt: yeah sure

dwfan91: thanks

DewIt: he said no

dwfan91: dang it

\---

2:56

moonmom: is that darkwing duck??  
moonmom: omg i love darkwing duck

louie: oh no

dwfan91: you do???  
dwfan91: me and launchpad have been trying to get a new member for our watch parties

moonmom: yeah i loved it as a kid! me n don used to watch it all the time!

dwfan91: do you and your brother wanna come over and watch it with us sometime?

moonmom: yes!! ill bring penny with me so she can watch it with us

dwfan91: DUTKDJFYDIFGUCHE

goswad: lol nerds

moonmom: huey and dewey are coming too louie: i guess ill come too dwfan91: yessssssssssssss moonmom: when can we come? dwfan91: saturday moonmom: where and what time dwfan91: 7pm would be good dwfan91: drive over to the audubon tower in st canard and we'll meet you there! moonmom: we'll be there!


	5. fanfictions smh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i couldnt think of anything else lmao, feel free to give me ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout an absolute queen smh: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feeling_pink/pseuds/feeling_pink i highly reccomend "he's perfect" because it IS perfect

2:09PM 

McDuck: you kids have fun watching your television with launchpad and his friend?

DewIt: yess

DonDad: very nostalgic 

moonmom: yessssssss

pennywane: earth tv is enjoyable

louie: eh

DewIt: louie shut up you cried after learning dr grayflight's backstory

louie: stop exposing me

McDuck: glad you all had fun!

JWHuey: i have written SO MANY fan theories

CrashCourse: i want to hear all of them when im back  
CrashCourse: by the way when will i be back

McDuck: about 3 days

Crashcourse: oh ok!

-22 has joined

22: Webby, why have you invited me?

Pink: because everybody else in the family is here 

22: Alright

CrashCourse: oh hey ms b! 

22: Hello Launchpad.

3:00PM

DewIt: when launchpad gets back we should totally have another game night, moms here so it would be perfect!

moonmom: YESSSSS

DonDad: oh no

louie: can we just play like normal monopoly and stuff this time??

JWHuey: Louie this is our family we're talking about, do you think normal monopoly will ever be normal?

louie: a boy can dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: Dr. Grayflight is my oc, i just needed a filler name so i smacked him in lol


	6. dead body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumpster girl 2: electric boogaloo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep heres chapter 6, kinda back from the hiatus but ill probably just be posting randomly now so no schedule
> 
> anyways, enjoy i guess

2:50 PM

louie: hey guys um what do i do if i see a dumpster moving

DonDad: what do you mean 

louie like its moving  
louie: nobody outside it is moving

McDuck: louie where are you

louie: outside in the back of funzos

DonDad: is anybody else there with you

louie: dewey, lena and launchpad

DonDad: have launchpad check in the dumpster

feather_weight: yo what

DonDad: louie?

feather_weight: oh shit hold on he just screamed-

DonDad: are you ok

feather_weight: ok he just came like full speed ahead at me  
feather_weight: oh now he's shouting about a dead body

DonDad: what??

feather_weight: okay he wants to leave now, we're going to my house and spending the night so like.

DonDad: i  
DonDad: okay??

7:09 PM

DonDad: hey louie

louie: hey

DonDad: scrooge wants to know what the apparent dead body in the dumpster looked like

louie: um well so  
louie: it was really big

DonDad: okay

louie: im pretty sure it was a rooster  
louie: he had yellow feathers and was wearing a suit  
louie: i didnt really see that much

DonDad: okay thank you

louie: wait  
louie: HOLY SHIT NO WE HAVE TO GO BACK  
louie: IT WAS THAT CHICKEN GUY

DonDad: what??

louie: YKNOW THE THETHE  
louie: THE DUMB ROOSTER GUY WITH THE STEELBEAK

DonDad: WE'RE CHECKING THE DUMPSTER RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT  
DonDad: its empty

louie: oh

DonDad: fuck

McDuck: donald watch your language   
McDuck: but yes

DewIt: but what was he doing just in the trash??

McDuck: we arent sure yet

louie: wow great

DonDad: hhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hint for next chapter: 00


	7. dumpster fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLO WELCOME THIS THIS DUMPSTER FIRE
> 
> alternate title: louie is mean to launchpad for a whole chapter and then Immediately Regrets His Actions™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO WELCOME TO ME BEING CRINGY AND ALSO PROJECTING ONTO LOUIE ALOT AND ALSO LAUNCHPAD KIND OF

11:20 AM

CrashCourse: hey that steelbeak guy looks really familiar

DewIt: i

louie: has he not figured it out???

DonDad: when does launchpad ever figure anything out

CrashCourse: what  
CrashCourse: OH I KNOW! I THINK WE USED TO DATE

DonDad: I  
DonDad: YOUVE LITERALLY DATED EVERYONE I SWEAR TO GOD

CrashCourse: huh?

DonDad: YOUVE DATED ME, YOUVE DATED FENTON, YOUVE DATED PENUMBRA, YOUVE DATED A MERMAID AND ALSO A CLONE KF YOURSELF APPARENTLY  
DonDad: YOU EVEN DATED GYRO THAT ONE TIME I THINK

CrashCourse: no wait i dont think ive dated the beaksteel guy

DewIt: launchpad you know that video game vr thingy

CrashCourse: i think it was ar actually

DewIt: thats not the point

CrashCourse: i dont know  
CrashCourse: dont really remember alot of it

DewIt: oh

louie: are we gonna talk about that or just brush the whole thing off

moonmom: launchpad is weird honey, dont think about it too much

DewIt: he was the guy who was attacking us

CrashCourse: uhh

louie: OH COME ON

CrashCourse: ive had alot of head trauma so maybe thats why i dont remember 

louie: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE

CrashCourse: i dont know

louie: jfc

DonDad: louie...

louie: what? it means jesus fricking christ

moonmom: whatever happens to launchpad stays with launchpad

louie: ALSO HOW TF DO YOU REMEMBER THAT IT WAS AR AND NOT VR  
louie: I DONT EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

CrashCourse: virtual reality is that its like a screen, nothing is touchable  
CrashCourse: augmented reality is see through and is laid out on top of real things like tables and stuff

DewIt: he only retains random information

louie: THIS WHOLE FOWL THING IS IMPORTANT YKNOW  
louie: THERE'S SOMETHING CLEARLY WRONG WITH YOU OR SOMETHING  
louie: LAUNCHPAD HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID??

DewIt: hey hey hey what the heck

DonDad: louie

louie: fuck

DonDad: im picking you two up  
DonDad: you're just at the sabrewing's right?

DewIt: yeah

louie USVBWHBUSHB7J

Pink: what was that-

JWHuey: Upset keysmash.  
JwHuey: Also what happened here??

DewIt: im not even sure anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways um this exists now


	8. sleeping at last 2: electric boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its a cycle lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so this is a thing
> 
> i like launchpad ok

3:06 AM

CrashCourse: hey guys

moonmom: launchpad go to bed

Pink: launhc pad why are yiocshtill awaje

CrashCourse: why are you guys still awake??

moonmom: princess chainsaw was so successful that nownthey made a whole series, we're binge w.atching the first season

CrashCourse: you guys should sleep

moonmom: no you CrashCourse: no DonDad: launchpad i swear to fuckung god i will DRAG you out of the garahge and to a bed CrashCourse: im not in the garage CrashCourse: but ok DonDad: where ate you CrashCourse: outside DonDad: why are you outside CrashCourse: im fixinh an engine and its nice out DonDad: go to bes DonDad: bef DonDad: BEF DonDad: BED CrashCourse: im not even tiref DonDad: LAUNCHPAD WE ALREADY HAD THIS TALK CrashCourse: ok

moonmom: wait donald why are you up

DonDad: table broke while i was under it  
DonDad: nkt even fucking joking 

CrashCourse: why were 6iu sleeping inder the table

DonDad: because my bed broke  
DonDad: HEY WAIT DONT CHANGE THE SUNJECT

CrashCourse: bye

DonDad: HEY  
DonDad: NO

moonmom: wow

louie: if only i was that good at escaping your lectures

DonDad: LOUIE WHY ARE YOU UP

louie: because i couldnt sleep

DonDad: yes you can, now sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the wack formatting, it does that sometimes!
> 
> also most of the Tired Talk™ was me just not correcting anything, also its like 2AM for me so like


	9. hold gentle like hamburger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he hold gentle like hamburger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point this is just me going "hmmm i need an idea for this fanfic...... hmmm..... launchpad...." stfu im a kinnie alright lol
> 
> <3

-5:03 PM:

dwfan91: launchpad is holding gosalyn and its the cutest thing ever -image: awww-

-an image is under the message, it shows launchpad holding gosalyn up so she can reach the top of a christmas tree to put the star on-

louie: he does that with like everybody i swear like especially dewey -image: hold gentle like hamburger-

-an image depicting launchpad holding dewey up is shown-

DewIt: THE NAME-  
DewIt: WHY DID YOU NAME THE FILE THAT

louie: because he's holding you gentle like hamburger

DonDad: he's done that with everybody and it pisses della off so much like -image: simba-

-an image like the other ones is shown exceot della is the one being held up, she looks like a pissed off cat-

moonmom: I DONT LIKE BEING HELD DonDad: liar -image: alien gf- -an image is shown of della being held by penny in a bridal carry, della is obviously enjoying it- moonmom: ILL STRANGLE YOU DonDad: do it louie: presidential alert: the girls are fighting CrashCourse: guys please no DewIt: rip uncle donald moonmom: i just dont like being held by launchpad ok?? DonDad: because you're salty moonmom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SALTY DonDad: you're still mad at the fact that he "replaced" you arent you CrashCourse: please no McDuck: we are NOT having this conversation again CrashCourse: guys stop moonmom: WELL I DONT KNOW MAYBE I AM McDuck: stop moonmom: SCROOGE SHUT UP McDuck: YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY moonmom: IM NOT SPEAKING IM TEXTING -6:07 PM: dwfan91: what in the hell did i just start louie: i dont know and honestly im pretty scared DonDad: um sorry about that i kinda started the argument

DonDad: drake you didnt start anything its ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just me ranting about how cute launchpad is through different ducktales characters and then devolved into "della thinks launchpad sucks"   
> IM SORRY OK
> 
> im also very sorry for the random wack formatting that turns everything into like a big block of text, ive tried to fix it but it doesnt work so like
> 
> <3


	10. whip and nae naeing while my parents yell in the other room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did you not read the title?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to me projecting my music tastes onto fictional birds for 80% of a this chapter
> 
> louie is bullying everybody else for their music tastes because it just be like that
> 
> bonus points if you know all these bands and stuff
> 
> also special thanks to authorunkind because they told me how to murder the big blocks of bad formatting with the power of rich text

7:50 PM

louie: god i feel like a "pov: listening to music while your parents argue in tne background" video

feather_weights: sir are you ok

louie: yeah but like people are yelling in the other room

feather_weight: oh rip

DewIt: whats going??

JWHuey: Donald, mom and Scrooge are all yelling at eachother  
JWHuey: i think Launchpad's in there too

louie: i cant hear a thing since im blasting music through my headphones

DewIt: what music?

louie: quack stauber

DewIt: oh i like him!

feather_weight: whats your favorite song by him

DewIt: buttercup

louie: get out DewIt: what

feather_weight: dewey is valid shut up louie "im not like other girls" duck

louie: lena why-

Pink: ooo do you guys like the crane wives??

feather_weight: YES

Pink: the crow hellos are also really good! they make me wanna jump on a horse and ride into the sunset

louie: webby we've literally done that twice in the past month

Pink: i know but still

Pink: hummingbird and sons is also really good! dust bowl dance makes me feel like im in the old west!

DewIt: yesss

feather_weight: sj quacker anybody??

Pink: YES SONG OF THE WITCHES IS MY JAM

louie: woah lena when did you start liking indie music lol

feather_weight: when i learned it was cool to be myself

louie: being yourself? never heard of her  
louie: also has anybody listened to hen hen??

JWHuey: me!

louie: speaking of you, what kind of nerd music do you listen to? crowzart?

JWHuey: uh  
JWHuey: my chemical crowmance

DewIt: uncle donald would be so proud...

louie: EDGELORD ALERT LMAO

feather_weight: WHEN I WAS  
feather_weight: A YOUNG BOY

DewIt: MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY

feather_weight: TO SEE THE MARCHING BAND

JWHuey: he said son when you grow up  
JWHuey: WOULD YOU BE THE SAVIOR OF THE BROKEN

feather_weight: THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED

louie: OH NO THE EDGELORDS ARE TAKING OVER

feather_weight: ok well you listen to jack stauber and thats edgy so like

louie: not really 

Pink: do you guys like of monsters and macaws?? 

feather_weight: arent they that one icelandic band

DewIt: sounds familiar

JWHuey: shawn cranes is pretty good

feather_weight: haunted is very good  
feather_weight: yall like lord heron?

Pink: yes  
louie: eh

JWHuey: are they alright in there?-

louie: who?

JWHuey: mom donald and scrooge 

DewIt: OH CRAP I FORGOT ABOUT THEM

louie: who wants to be the sacrifice to go check on them?

JWHuey: ill do it, im closest  
JWHuey: i think mom is challenging launchpad to an arm wrestle

DewIt: wh

goswad: your family is actually nuts what

dwfan91: now gos, thats not very nice to say  
dwfan91: but you are right so um

louie: you just realized that??

JWHuey: i have no idea whats going on in there anymore but i can hear uncle donald'a sighs of frustration 

louie: even he know this is ridiculous

DonDad: it is  
DonDad: at this point i should just not talk 

louie: yeah this was kind of your fault

DonDad: louie...

louie: sorry...

DonDad: no i deserved that  
DonDad: hold on i need to make sure dumbella doesn't break both of lp's arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> comment are appreciated, they help me know that yall wanna see more
> 
> also if you like chatfics i reccomend checking out my other chat stuff ln this series!


End file.
